VOLUME 26

MICROSOFT BASIC AND FORTRAN GAMES AND UTILITIES

NUMBER	SIZE	NAME		COMMENTS

		CATALOG.26	CONTENTS OF CP/M GROUP VOL 26
		ZOSO26.DOC	OUR REVIEWER'S COMMENTS ON VOL 26 AND 27
26.1	4K	BACCRRT.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME.  SEE ZOSO26.DOC FOR
				NOTE ON CRT DEPENDENT CODE.
26.2	14K	BASEBALL.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.3	7K	BIOCAL.ASC	BIORHYTHM PROGRAM.  SEE ZOSO26.DOC.
26.4	6K	BIRTHDAY.ASC	GIVES DAY OF WEEK FOR ANY DATE
26.5	8K	BLACKJACK.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME.  SEE ZOSO26.DOC FOR
				NOTE ON CRT DEPENDENT CODE.
26.6	10K	BUDGET.ASC	BUDGET PROGRAM.  SEE ZOSO26.DOC
26.7	3K	CHASE.ASC 	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.8	12K	CHESS.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.9	9K	CIVILWAR.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.10	6K	CLIMATES.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.11	6K	CLOUD-9.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.12	5K	CRAPS.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.13	7K	CRAZY-8.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME.  SEE ZOSO26.DOC FOR
				NOTE ON CRT DEPENDENT CODE.
26.14	1K	GALAXY.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.15	2K	GALAXY2.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.16	8K	SQUARE.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.17	16K	SWARMS.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.18	8K	WEATHER.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.19	5K	WORD-PLZ.ASC	MICROSOFT BASIC GAME
26.20	12K	OTHELLO.FOR	FORTRAN VERSION OF OTHELLO ON VOL 15.
				SEE ZOSO26.DOC
26.21	22K	OTHELLO.COM	EXECUTABLE 26.20
26.22	1K	CHAIN.ASC	PROGRAM TO COPY FROM CONSOLE TO XXX.SUB FILE.
26.23	2K	EDITM.FOR	FORTRAN IV PROGRAM.  WRITES M80 PRN FILE
				TO LST DEVICE.




OTHELLO.FOR
OTHELLO.COM
THESE ARE LOVELY REWRITES OF THE OTHELLO GAMES FROM VOLUME 15. THE FORMATTING
IS MUCH IMPROVED, AND SOME KEY ERROR TRAPS HAVE BEEN ADDED. THERE ARE TWO
[ERROR TRAPS] WHICH WERE OVERLOOKED HOWEVER. WHEN YOU ARE ASKED, "DO YOU WANT
TO GIVE ME [COMPUTER] A HANDICAP ?", ANY ANSWER OTHER THAN 'N' OR 'NO' WILL BE
INTERPRETED AS 'YES'; ALSO ANY IMPROPER REPLY TO THE QUESTION, "HOW MANY COR-
NERS (1 TO 4) ?" WILL SEND THE PROGRAM INTO AN EXITLESS LOOP FOR WHICH THE ONLY
REMEDY IS A LEFT-HOOK TO THE RESET BUTTON.

BLUFF.INT
RUN.COM
I EXPLAINED THE RAISON-D'ETRE FOR BLUFF REACHING US THIS WAY. 'RUN.COM' IS THE
CORRECT RUN-PAK FOR THIS PARTICULAR 'INT' PROGRAM. I HAD SWORN NOT TO WRITE
ANY MORE PLAYS UNTIL NEXT CHRISTMAS, BUT I WILL TRY TO FILL YOU IN ON WHAT WAS
SAID WHEN I TELEPHONED THE AUTHOR (MR. X) IN HOPES OF PERSUADING HIM TO GIVE
US THE 'BAS' FILE. THE DIALOGUE IS VERY LOOSELY PARAPHRASED AS MR. X IS GIVEN
TO BOUTS OF COARSE AND VULGAR LANGUAGE... A SHORT 'PLAYLET' FOLLOWS........

Z: WHY NOT GIVE US THE SOURCE FILE. THE PROGRAM IS EXCELLENT, AND I'M SURE THAT
   EVERYONE WILL WANT TO KNOW HOW IT WAS DONE.
X: SURE, SO SOMEONE CAN CHANGE A FEW LINES AND SELL IT AS THEIR OWN WORK...
Z: SOME PEOPLE WILL WANT TO CHANGE THE OUTPUT FOR 64 X 16 CRTS.
X: THEY CAN GO 'SQUAT' IN THEIR SOMBREROS FOR ALL I CARE.
Z: SOME PEOPLE WITH GOOD CRTS WILL BE IN TROUBLE AS WELL, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH
   YOU WERE THOUGHTFUL ENOUGH TO INCLUDE A SCREEN-BLANKING INPUT (A NICE TOUCH
   THAT I'D LIKE TO SEE MORE OF), SOME CRTS CAN ONLY BE BLANKED VIA ESCAPE SE-
   QUENCES, AND YOUR PROGRAM MAKES NO PROVISION FOR THIS.
X: LET THE LITTLE (PLURAL NOUN I CAN'T REPEAT) PLAY IT ON A PRINTER !!!
Z: I HAVE SEEN THE SOURCE ON PAPER YOU KNOW, AND I'M PRETTY SURE I COULD RE-
   CONSTRUCT A THOROUGH FLOW CHART FROM MEMORY AND INCLUDE IT IN MY NEXT (THIS)
   COLUMN (I THOUGHT I HAD HIM THERE).
X: DO AND I'LL JAM A BAYONET UP YOUR (ANOTHER BAD WORD) !!!
   "CLICK"... (THE SOUND OF SOMEONE HANGING UP ON ZOSO)
Z: (TO MYSELF) WELL I GUESS HE WON THIS ROUND. - END OF PLAY

			** NASTY LITTLE PROGRAMS DEPT. **


CHASE.ASC
WE'VE HAD A FEW VERSIONS OF THIS GAME ARRIVE IN THE MAIL BEFORE. THE REASON
WE INCLUDED IT AGAIN IS BECAUSE THIS IS THE WORST WE'VE SEEN. SERIOUSLY, ANY
OF YOU WHO ARE CONSIDERING AN UPGRADE TO A TRS-80 WITH LEVEL-1 BASIC MAY FIND
THAT YOU CAN EASILY TRANSPORT THIS ITEM TO THAT PARTICULAR COMPUTER.

CIVILWAR.ASC
A LOT LIKE THE ONE I WENT OUT OF MY WAY TO INSULT WHEN LAST WE MET. THIS
GRADUATE THESIS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE ENLARGES ON THE LEGACY OF THE PREVIOUS
ONE IN SEVERAL KEY AREAS. THIS TIME THE POOR CONFEDERATE GENERAL (YOU) WILL
NOW SUFFER THE FURTHER MISERIES OF BAD SPELLING, FATAL LOGIC ERRORS AND THE
CRUELEST CUT OF ALL, THE COMPUTER WILL CALL YOU NAMES. IT'S DOLLARS TO
DOUGHNUTS THAT THIS THING WAS NEVER PLAYED FOR AS LONG AS IT MUST HAVE TAKEN
TO WRITE.

WEATHER.ASC
CLOUD-9.ASC
CLIMATE.ASC
!!!!!!!!  G O N G  !!!!!!!!!!!!
CHUCKIE : UNKNOWN COMIC, WHY DID YOU GONG THE 'WEATHER TWINS'? I LIKED THEIR
          ACT, BUT THEN AGAIN I LIKE YEAST INFECTIONS.
UNKNOWN : WHY DID I GONG THE 'WEATHER TWINS' - CHUCKIE BABY, CHUCKIE BABY, I
          DON'T KNOW 'WEATHER' I'VE SEEN ANYTHING THIS WIERD. OH CHUCKIE,
          CHUCKIE I'VE SEEN BETTER 'STUFF' IN FAT FARMS.
CHUCKIE : OH THAT UNKNOWN COMIC IS A MEAN 'RASCULE'. NOW COME ON YOU GUYS, GET
          OFF THE STAGE...

SNOOPY.ASC
YET ANOTHER VISITATION OF OUR CUDDLY LITTLE FRIEND. AT LEAST THIS ONE BEARS
CERTAIN EARMARKS OF AN AUTHENTIC COMPUTER PROGRAM [I.E. SOMETHING BEYOND AN
ENTIRE PAGE OF CONSECUTIVE 'PRINT' STATEMENTS]. THIS 'SNOOPY' IS WEARING HIS
ADORABLE AVIATOR'S HELMET - HOW DARLING... THE MYSTERIOUS OBJECT BENEATH HIM
IS A POISONED STAKE - GUESS WHO PUT IT THERE - HEH, HEH.

CHESS.ASC
LAST TIME AROUND SOME PRANKSTER SUBMITTED A PRELIMINARY VERSION OF THIS
PROGRAM WHICH DID NOT WORK. THANK GOODNESS THIS HAS BEEN RECTIFIED !!!
THIS VERSION DOES PLAY THE USUAL SUBSET OF CHESS CORRECTLY. THE PIECES
ARE CODED NUMERICALLY; ALL MOVES ARE ENTERED IN OCTAL [VOMIT]; AND THERE
IS JUST A FAIR CHANCE THAT GRANDMASTER KARPOV MIGHT BE ABLE TO WIN THE ODD
GAME FROM THIS CHESTIC POWERHOUSE... IF HE REALLY TRIED HARD MIND YOU !!!
IN TERMS OF REAL TIME, THIS DOES RUN SLOWLY; AND TO BEAT THIS RATHER POOR
CHESS PROGRAM JUST ONCE, YOU'D BEST SET ASIDE AN ENTIRE EVENING. MICRO-
CHESS (TM) FOR THE 8080 IS WIDELY AVAILABLE FOR UNDER $20.00, AND COM-
PARED TO THIS, IT IS MAGNITUDES BETTER.

BIOCAL.ASC
A NICE VARIANT ON THE SHOPWORN OLD BIORHYTHM NUMBER... BUT USE THIS ONE IN
THE FULLEST OF HASTE ! IT ONLY WORKS FOR 1978 A.D... A REWRITE IN FORTRAN
WITH PROVISIONS TO DO THE SAME FOR ANY REASONABLE YEAR WOULD BE GLADLY WEL-
COMED BY ALL. IF YOU COMPUTER-CLUBBIES ARE FEELING THE HEAT, AND FEEL LIKE
RIOTING, PERHAPS THIS VERY PROJECT WILL KEEP YOU OUT OF TROUBLE.

SQUARE.LIB
THIS ONE PLAGUED ME WITH UNEXPLAINED SUBSCRIPT ERRORS WHEN I FIRST TRIED
IT. I ADDED THREE CONSECUTIVE LINES OF ERROR TRAPPING (SEE IF YOU CAN FIND
THEM). IT SEEMS TO WORK NOW, BUT I HAVEN'T THE REMOTEST IDEA WHY. IT PLAYS
AN ODD LITTLE GAME QUITE WELL. I MAY RUIN MY REPUTATION OVER THIS PROGRAM;
BUT WHAT THE HELL, I LIKE IT.

NIM.ASC
IQUEEN.ASC
TWO PEAS FROM THE SAME POD... WE'VE ALL SEEN THESE EARLIER IN SOME FORM OR
ANOTHER. 'NIM', AS YOU'LL RECALL IS THAT WIDELY ACCLAIMED SEDATIVE-HYPNOTIC
FROM THE DAYS WHEN TEACHERS TWISTED THE EARS OF MISCREANTS WHO WERE DISRUP-
TIVE IN CLASS, AND BEAT THEIR LITTLE KNUCKLES WITH STEEL-EDGE RULERS. 'IQUEEN'
IS A NOVEL APPROACH TO THE SAME OLD S---. ALAS, IT SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN FOR-
MATTED FOR THE HUGE SCOREBOARD IN THE 'SUPERDOME'. THOSE OF YOU WITH VDM'S WILL
REQUIRE CONSIDERABLE IMAGINATION & RECALL TO PLAY THE LATTER ITEM.

WRD-PUZ.ASC
THIS WAS RELEASED EARLIER AS 'W/SEARCH'. THIS ENHANCED VERSION HAS A FEW
'NEW-ANCES' THAT MAKE IT WELL WORTH A SECOND LOOK.

DOTS.ASC
METHINKS SOMEONE IS ATTEMPTING TO PULL ZOSO'S CHAIN... THE GAME OF 'DOTS' -
DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT ? ADMIT YOUR IGNORANCE - REPLY 'NO' AND YOU'LL
BE TOLD HOW TO PLAY; RATHER YOU WILL BE TOLD HOW TO ENTER YOUR MOVES. THE
RULES AND OBJECT FOR THIS MICRO-MONSTROSITY ARE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. TO
BE FAIR, IT MAY WELL BE THAT THIS GAME (IF THAT'S WHAT IT REALLY IS) IS
POPULAR IN SOME OTHER REGION OF OUR GREAT LAND. IF INDEED THIS PASTIME
LIGHTS UP THE LIVES OF THE ALBANIAN ENCLAVE IN TOPEKA OR SOME SUCH THING,
PLEASE FORWARD THE RULES (IN ENGLISH), AND MAYBE SOME DAY I'LL READ THEM.

DRAGRACE.ASC
I THOUGHT I KNEW A GOOD BIT ABOUT THE SUBJECT OF THIS OFFERING, BUT I GUESS
THIS PROGRAM PROVES JUST HOW WRONG I WAS... WHEN I HAD ATTENDED THE 'DRAGS'
I RECALLED THE SNARL OF HIGH POWER ENGINES, THE SMELL OF BURNING 'SLICKS',
THE PERMEATING ODORS OF ETHER, NITROMETHANE AND BEER THAT SOME LOUTISH WAHOO
ALWAYS MANAGED TO SPILL ON MY TUXEDO... NONE OF THESE THINGS ARE TO BE FOUND
HERE... YOU ARE INVITED TO 'DESIGN' YOUR DRAGSTER. THIS IS ACCOMPLISHED BY
SPECIFYING: REAR-END RATIO, HOURSEPOWER [SIC], TIRE WIDTH AND TIRE CIRCUM-
FERENCE. THEN THE RACE STARTS, AND ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER YOU WILL HAVE
LOST. I BEG THOSE OF YOU WITHOUT BLINKING FRONT-PANELS TO TRUST ME WHEN I
TELL YOU THAT THIS 'THING' TRULY WORKS (IT REALLY DOESN'T ENTER AN ENDLESS
LOOP - I SWEAR IT !!). I'LL WAGER NOBODY PLAYS THIS ONE TOO OFTEN !!!

GOLF.ASC
FOOTBALL.ASC
BASEBALL.ASC
THE 'GOLF' AND 'FOOTBALL' GAMES IN THIS GROUP ARE MBASIC REWRITES OF TWO
FORGETTABLE BASIC/E-C/BASIC GAMES WE'D RECEIVED EARLIER. ALL OF THESE SPOR-
TING SIMULATIONS REQUIRE YOU TO ENTER NUMERIC CODES WHICH INDICATE YOUR
'STRATEGY'; PUTTER-IRON, PUNT-PASS, SLIDER-KNUCKLEBALL ETC. AFTER YOU HAVE
OBLIGED, A RANDOM NUMBER DECIDES WHICH MEANINGLESS RESULT TO DERIVE FROM
YOUR EQUALLY MEANINGLESS STRATEGIC ENTRY. INTERACTION AT ITS VERY WORST !!!
BY COMPARISON, I'D SUSPECT THAT TENDING A LIGHTHOUSE WHICH HAD NEITHER WOMEN,
BOOKS NOR TELEVISION WOULD OFFER MORE EXCITEMENT. [REAL] ATHLETES, SPORTSMEN
AND THOSE WITH TRIPLE DIGIT I.Q.'S ARE URGED TO STAY WELL CLEAR OF THESE !!!
P.S. I UNDERSTAND THAT ICE HOCKEY, BOXING AND TENNIS HAVE BEEN VILIFIED IN
LIKE MANNER; MY HEARTFELT THANKS GO OUT TO THOSE OF YOU WHO REFRAINED FROM
SENDING THESE TO US.

SYNONYMS.ASC
ANTONYMS.ASC
WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THESE (SAID ZOSO RHETORICALLY) ? THE POINT ESCAPES ME
ENTIRELY. THE NAMES OF THESE FILES ARE SELF-EXPLANATORY. BRIEFLY ONE IS TO
PIT THEIR KNOWLEDGE AGAINST THE RATHER LIMITED VOCABULARY OF THE AUTHOR;
WHAT HAPPENS IS: THE PLAYER (CONTESTANT, PARTICIPANT, ENTRANT, VICTIM) WILL
GET REPEATEDLY CHASTISED (ADMONISHED, BROWBEATEN, SCOLDED, TAUNTED) FOR SUG-
GESTING PERFECTLY CORRECT ANSWERS WHICH NEVER MADE IT INTO THE POORLY CON-
CEIVED DATA BASE UPON WHICH THESE 'GEMS' (PASTEBOARD, GLASS, RHINESTONES)
DEPEND. THERE MAY STILL BE SOME SALVAGE VALUE; MERGE THESE TWO INTO A SIN-
GLE UNIT AND CALL IT 'ERASONYM.ASC'; THEN FREE UP SOME DISK SPACE.

BUDGET.ASC
THIS MAY BE A WINNER, GANG... I DON'T WANT MY COMPUTER TO USURP THE DELIGHT
I DERIVE FROM MERELY APPLYING COMMON SENSE TO MY OWN LIFE. THIS PROGRAM DOES
HOWEVER FILL A SIGNIFICANT VOID FOR THOSE WHO FEEL DIFFERENTLY. I'LL ADMIT
I DIDN'T FOLLOW THIS ONE ALL THE WAY THROUGH, BUT MY FIRST IMPRESSION SUG-
GESTS THAT THIS REALLY MIGHT BE VERY GOOD FOR 'BUDGETING' ONES' EXISTENCE. I
WAS ALL SET TO FAULT IT FOR MAKING NO ALLOWANCES FOR VICE & NARCOTICS (WITHOUT
WHICH TIMES CAN GET BORING). I WAS FOOLED THOUGH, THERE ARE ENTRIES FOR ENTER-
TAINMENT AND PHARMACEUTICALS (THE SAME IN MY BOOK). THIS IS A GOOD ONE !!


CHAIN.BAS
YOU C/BASIC PEOPLE HAVE NOW INHERITED A CLEVER LITTLE ROUTINE FOR 'CHAINING'
(MERGING) PROGRAMS. I HAVE NEVER LIKED YOUR AWFUL LITTLE 'INT' FILES, BUT YOU
WILL BE ABLE TO CREATE BETTER ONES WITH THIS.

BACCARAT.ASC
BLACKJCK.ASC
CRAZY-8.ASC
THESE THREE SHARE THIS IN COMMON: I LIKED WHAT I SAW EXCEPT FOR THE HIDEOUS
FORMATTING AND THE ERROR TRAPS, WHICH WERE EITHER MISSING OR POORLY WRITTEN.
I UNDERTOOK FIXES ON ALL THREE, AND GIVEN THAT I SPENT ABOUT 10 MINUTES ON
EACH, MAYBE I DID A REASONABLY GOOD JOB. AMONGST THE THINGS I ADDED WAS THE
COMMAND: 'PRINT CHR$(26)'; THIS BLANKS THE SCREEN ON MY ADM-3. THOSE WITH
OTHER CRT'S WILL HAVE TO CHANGE THIS ONE THING. ALSO, THESE GAMES NEED TO
BE 'RANDOMIZED' IN SOME FASHION, BUT THAT'S A PAIN IN THE 'KEYSTER', SO I'LL
LEAVE THAT TO YOU.

ROULETTE.ASC
CRAPS.ASC
!!!!!!!!  G O N G  !!!!!!!!!!!
CHUCKIE : REX REED YOU 'RASCULE', WHY DID YOU GONG THE 'CASINO BROTHERS'?
          I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOOD; BUT THEN AGAIN I'M TURNED ON BY SEEING
	  THE FISH FLOAT AFTER A BIG CHEMICAL SPILL.
REX REED: I ONLY BET ON COCKFIGHTS!
CHUCKIE : WELL THAT'S IT. MEAN OLD REX WOULD RATHER BET ON A COCKFIGHT...
          GET OFF THE STAGE !!!

MASTERMD.ASC
THIS IS A NICE COMPACT LITTLE PROGRAM WHICH PLAYS THE GAME OF 'MASTERMIND'.
THE GAME WILL REMIND YOU OF 'BAGELS'. CLEVERLY WRITTEN !!! TO GET TO THE
POINT, I LIKED IT, AND SO WILL YOU !! THERE IS A MINOR 'BUG' WHICH CROPS UP
EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, BUT IT IS OF NO MOMENT.

HANGMN-1.ASC
HANGMN-2.ASC
HANGMN-3.ASC
I REALIZE THAT I AM BREAKING NEW GROUND IN WRITING TWO CONSECUTIVE FLAT-
TERING PARAGRAPHS; BUT TRUTH IS A HARD THING, EVEN FOR ME, SO HERE GOES...
I LIKE ALL THREE OF THESE. I HAD BEEN SICK OF 'HANGMAN' GAMES EVER SINCE
COMPUTERS BECAME THE RAGE, BUT THESE ARE EXCELLENT !!! I HONESTLY ENJOYED
PLAYING THIS GAME AT ALL THREE LEVELS. OF PARTICULAR NOTE IS THE VERY ADROIT
WAY IN WHICH THE DATA TABLES ARE ENCRYPTED IN 'HANGMN-3'. BRAVO !!!

MAZE.ASC
SWARMS.ASC
STARTREK.ASC
I GET THE FEELING OF DEJA-VU ABOUT THESE. THEY MUST BE DIFFERENT FROM THE
ONES WE'VE RELEASED EARLIER. OTHERWISE WHY WOULD SOMEONE HAVE BOTHERED TO
SEND THEM IN. I REFER YOU TO REMARKS OF MINE (PUBLISHED EARLIER) REGARDING
'MAZE' AND 'SWARMS' PROGRAMS. I SAID IT ALL THEN AND EVER SO CLEVERLY. AS
REGARDS THIS 'STARTREK' - YAWN !!!

SHOP.ASC
I GET THIS NAGGING FEELING THAT THIS ONE REACHES US COURTESY OF THOSE ZANY
CUT-UPS FROM THE COMPUTER STORE IN LOS ANGELES. YOU MAY REMEMBER THEM FOR
THEIR MEMORABLE PROGRAM 'TACOS', WHICH RECEIVED A MOST LUKEWARM COMMENTARY
FROM ME LAST TIME. THIS WRETCHED LITTLE THING DOES NOTHING BUT INSULT YOU
AT ITS OWN SLUGGISH PACE. IF THIS DID COME FROM YOU CLOWNS IN L.A., YOU GUYS
OUGHT TO TAKE A VACATION. THE VILE AIR YOU BREATHE IS MAKING YOU MEAN. IF
THIS CAME FROM ANYONE ELSE, MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. THINK OF WHAT THE
WORLD MIGHT BE LIKE IF EVERYONE STARTED CREATING DELIBERATELY AWFUL GAMES
TO PLAY ON THE COMPUTER. IN EITHER CASE, I PROMISE YOU THAT THIS THING WAS
CONCEIVED IN THE NAME OF INTENTIONAL CRUELTY. WITHOUT ANY RESERVATION, I'LL
ADMIT MY INABILITY TO THINK OF AN ITEM I'VE LIKED LESS... A TRUE COW-FLOP !!!

GREEKRTS.ASC
!!!!!!!!  G O N G  !!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHUCKIE : JAMIE FARR, LONG OF NOSE AND CUTE OF SKIRT, WHY DID YOU GONG OUR
          PAL 'SODOMOCLES THE GREEK'? I LIKED THAT ACT, BUT THEN AGAIN I LIKE
	  TO WATCH BIG SHARKS NAIL THE ODD SWIMMER.
JAMIE F.: HE NEEDED MORE VASELINE.
CHUCKIE : AW, 'SOD THE GREEK', TOO BAD... GET OFF !!!

MEMBRAIN.ASC
SOUNDS LIKE A GAME DOESN'T IT? (...BRAIN)? - DON'T BE MISLED! WHAT WE'RE
DEALING WITH HERE IS JUST ANOTHER SPELLING LAPSE. THE NAME SHOULD PROBABLY
HAVE BEEN 'MEMBRANE'... HERE'S THE SCENARIO: YOU ARE A SEMI-PERMEABLE MEM-
BRANE WHOSE JUDGMENT REGARDING NUTRIENT AND ELECTROLYTE DILUTIONS WILL DE-
TERMINE THE GROWTH RATE OF THE CELLS WITHIN YOUR PHYSICAL DOMAIN. THIS WAS
NO DOUBT A HIGH SCHOOL BROWN-NOSE PROJECT GONE AWRY. YOU SEE, (WHOEVER IN
HELL WROTE THIS), THERE'S A LOT THEY DIDN'T TEACH YOU IN TRADE SCHOOL (OR
WAS IT ONE OF THOSE SEXUALLY STIFLING MILITARY ACADEMIES): IF YOU GET TOO
GOOD AT THIS [GAME?], THE CELLS WILL DIVIDE REALLY WELL... AND YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT MEANS, DON'T YOU? YOU'LL HAVE TO GO INTO THE HOSPITAL FOR SURGERY, IR-
RADIATION OR PERHAPS ENOUGH METHOTREXATE TO MAKE YOUR HAIR FALL OUT WHILE
YOU PUKE FROM THE SOLES OF YOUR FEET UP. NEXT FALL, WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE
SCHOOL INFIRMARY BECAUSE OF THAT SORE YOU'VE HAD EVER SINCE FAT ***** LET YOU
GO ALL THE WAY, JUST ASK 'DOC' (THAT IS HIS NAME, RIGHT?) WHAT YOUR OLD PAL
ZOSO WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU.

DISSAMBR.ASC
WHAT A GREAT FILENAME!!! WHEN I SAW IT MY HEAD DANCED WITH DREAMS OF PLACES
FAR AWAY, EXOTIC WOMEN WEARING PERFUME I HAD NEVER SMELLED AND HIGH ROMANCE
IN THE DARKEST CORNERS OF MOROCCAN CASBAHS... I GUESS I ASSUMED FROM THE NAME
THAT IT MEANT SOMETHING LIKE "DISABUSE YOURSELF OF 'AMBER' (THE SULTRIEST
LADY I'D EVER SEEN - NOBODY EVER KNEW HER REAL NAME, BUT SHE WORE AMBER JEW-
ELRY EVERYWHERE (YES EVEN THERE), AND I GUESS THE NAME JUST STUCK)". IN TRUTH
THIS IS JUST AN 8080 DISASSEMBLER, AND ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER MET THE AUTHOR,
I'LL BET I CAN SUPPLY A REASONABLY ACCURATE IDEA OF HOW AN 8080 [BASIC] DIS-
ASSEMBLER CAME TO PASS. LET US NOT FORGET THAT 'MBASIC' AS WE CP/M'ERS KNOW
IT, ONLY CAME ABOUT WHEN MITS (THERE WERE NO FLOWERS AT THE WAKE) LOST A BIG
LAWSUIT TO MICROSOFT. BEFORE THAT, 'ALTAIR' [RETCH, GAG & BARF] BASIC WAS THE
ONLY WAY ITS USERS COULD INTERACT WITH THEIR MAGNETIC DISKS. THERE WAS NO OPER-
ATING SYSTEM (AS WE TAKE FOR GRANTED), JUST MITS' [DRY HEAVE] BASIC. SOME POOR
MISBEGOTTEN SOUL WHO'D NEVER HEARD OF CP/M ('DDT' IN PARTICULAR) TRIED TO HELP
MITS SURVIVE THE SOFTWARE VACUUM (WHICH BELATEDLY HELPED THEIR FINAL DEMISE).
I'LL BET YOU (THE AUTHOR) STUCK WITH MITS BECAUSE YOU'D ALREADY INVESTED YOUR 
LIFE AS CHIEF HONCHO OF THE 'BOWMAR BRAIN' USER'S GROUP. TOUGH NOOGIES, PAL,
LIVE AND LEARN...

GALAXY.ASC
GALAXY2.ASC
WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE IS AN ORIGINAL AND AN 'ENHANCEMENT'. BOTH REACHED US
COURTESY OF THE PERSON WHO 'UPGRADED' THE ORIGINAL. FIRST THE ORIGINAL: A
NICE COMPACT LITTLE PROGRAM WHICH WITH A FEW ADDED CONTROL CHARACTERS COULD
REALLY BE DYNAMITE ON A COLOR SCREEN. NEXT THE 'UPGRADE': I FEAR THE TRAGIC
CONSEQUENCES OF 'ANGEL-DUST' (PHENCYCLIDINE) POISONING ARE EVIDENT HERE. A
ONCE GOOD MIND CORRODED BY THAT FILTHY DRUG... IF YOU (UPGRADER) CAN REMOVE
YOUR HEAD FROM THAT BAG OF GLUE YOU ARE SNIFFING TO HEAR A LITTLE CONSTRUC-
TIVE CRITICISM, IT WOULD BE THIS, "LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE".

